Kitty Courtship
by Flavinette
Summary: The untold Hogwarts romance. A ginger Romeo and a slinky Juliet. The two unlikeliest felines fall for each other, but will humans accept their love?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Crookshanks padded through the stone hallways of Hogwarts silently. He was moping; his bottlebrush tail dragging sadly on the floor. There was a trail of clean stone where his tail had been, the rest of the floor was coated in dust. Crookshanks wandered aimlessly, stopping to leap onto a windowsill. He curled up, resting his head on his paws to watch the sun rise.

As the sun made its way steadily over the horizon, birds fluttered out of a nearby tree. Crookshanks stiffened, his senses alert. He crouched stealthily as a sparrow landed softly on the ground, pecking at some left over seed in the cobbled courtyard.

"I'm so pretty, hear me chirp. My seed, all mine," the sparrow twittered annoyingly. The sparrow preened itself as Crookshanks prepared to pounce. It froze, listening hard, sensing something watching him. It turned its head towards the spot where Crookshanks was, a split second too late. He flew through the air and caught the sparrow, snapping his jaws shut with a sickening crunch. Crookshanks admired his kill for a second then set about cleaning himself, he had gotten feathers everywhere.

A silver tabby came marching across the courtyard briskly, not stopping to notice Crookshanks, and hurried through a nearby passage. His heart leapt, it was _her._ For weeks now he had seen this elusive feline all over the school. Her lovely silver coat was magnificently contrasted by the most elegant raven that markings he'd ever seen. This was the only cat he had seen around Hogwarts and she was hard to woo. He was melancholy and depressed when she wasn't around. Yet whenever he saw this charming cat, her beauty made him feel as though he was basking in sun. The hardest part was finding her, for every time he followed her slinky form he would round a bend and find some human shooing him away.

He was starting to detest the Scottish brogue in which the woman scold him. "Get away, shoo! Be gone," she would say, swatting him away. The mysterious cat would vanish the moment she appeared, it was getting tiresome. This time she would stay, this time he had a gift.

_I've been so stupid, _Crookshanks admonished himself, _such a magnificent catch like that would be expecting an offering. No wonder she's always hiding_. He picked up the bird and trotted after her, tail raised high. He paused for a moment in the corridor, straining to see if she had gone up the stairs or down the corridor.

"Peeves likes to have his fun! It's not _broken_, just smashed,"a squeaky voice trilled from along the corridor, shortly after a resounding crash. There was a shout of frustration and anger from a man as Crookshanks' curiosity peaked. He was almost certain she had gone up the stairs but Crookshanks was inquisitive as to what the funny floating man had done.

He had met Peeves before. Peeves had decided his ghostly ears were getting cold and that a furry hat would be an ingenious solution. He scooped up a napping, unsuspecting Crookshanks. Peeves held the scared cat on his head and zoomed around the castle upside down. Eventually when she heard Crookshanks' distressed yowls, Hermione rescued a trembling Crookshanks.

Crookshanks deliberated, and then slunk down the corridor quickly, trying not to be seen by Peeves in case he felt the need for another head warmer. He took in the scene before him and snorted. Peeves was floating upside down, blowing loud raspberries at the smelly caretaker whose eyes were popping. The intricate cabinet, which Crookshanks found a few mice under once, was smashed to pieces and the man was getting redder by the second.

"It's a vanishing cabinet Peeves, you'll be kicked out for this, wait until the Headmaster finds out," Filch said eyes bulging at the thought.

"Can't hear you," Peeves said, turning right side up, stuffing his middle fingers into his ears and crossing his eyes obscenely. Quick as a flash he had spun around and dropped his pants, giving Filch, and a rather disgusted Crookshanks, a perfect view of his pearly white buttocks.

"That's repulsive," Filch said, staggering backwards a few steps, Crookshanks mentally agreed. Crookshanks' jaw dropped as Filch stepped back. The swallow rolled out of his agape jaw and he blinked hard to make sure he wasn't catnapping again. Sitting calmly next to where Filch used to be, was the most endearing sight he had ever seen. She was the sweetest feline; she turned her large shining orbs onto him when the bird made a muffled thump against the floor. He was instantly hypnotized by her eyes. They were the palest, most delicate shade of green that was set off by the chocolaty, russet of her fur. She tilted her head thoughtfully to one side and smiled crookedly, revealing pearly pointed teeth. He must have never really seen a true female feline up until now. The washed out, grey tabby from before could not hold a candle to the dazzling damsel before him.

She glanced nervously up at the caretaker who was trying to repress the urge to projectile vomit, and sauntered over until she was standing in front of him. Crookshanks tried to speak but only let out a pathetic mew. He cleared his throat, "I don't believe we've met, I'm Crookshanks, and I caught this swallow, would you like a bite?" Crookshanks asked in a rush.

"I'm Mrs. Norris," she responded timidly, "you've got a feather there." She licked his cheek, removing the fluffy feather from his whiskers. He felt a tingling rush when her rough, sand paper tongue deftly removed the offending plume.

He felt his heart sink at once though and looked down dejectedly, tail drooping. "Where's Mr. Norris?"

"There is no Mr. Norris. He just gave me the name," she said gesturing to the custodian who was now howling in pain and rolling on the floor, clawing at his eyes. The poltergeist was hovering inches above him; still pant less, although now shaking his behind grotesquely. "You can call me Nora though," she said smiling up at him. He felt his stomach soar and rolled the limp bird towards her gently. He watched her gnaw on the dead bird's wing with butterflies in his stomach. He licked a smear of scarlet off her fur and rubbed his head up against her silky chin. Nora blushed and nuzzled him back.

"Mrs. Norris! Get away from that creature," hissed Filch. He pushed Crookshanks away and fretted over her. "Did he hurt you?" Filch cooed. He held Mrs. Norris back as she struggled in vain to reach a distressed Crookshanks.

A thudding of footsteps and a high pitched squeal made Filch look up. Crookshanks took the opportunity to swipe at his hand. "Crooksy! No! Don't hurt him," Hermione shrieked, scooping up Crookshanks as Filch made to hit him. Hermione glared at Filch and hurried off. Crookshanks mewed miserably as he watched Nora's outline grow fainter. He heard a weak whimper from down the corridor and made up his mind.

_I'll find you, Nora, even if I have to search all of Hogwarts._

**Disclaimer: All Harry Potter related thing belong to J.K. Rowling and some credit to William Shakespeare for inspiration.**

**A/N: This is roughly based on Romeo and Juliet. When I was reading it in English class I thought that it would make a great animal version. Even cats deserve love. Please let me know if I should continue with this story line, I'm a bit unsure about it.**

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Crookshanks purred as Hermione stroked his head soothingly. He was napping on her lap near the fire, which warmed him. He closed his eyes and sighed. Today had been _wonderful_. It had been two weeks since he had met Nora and she had captured his heart completely. Crookshanks licked his paws clean while he thought about earlier that evening.

*

"Goodbye my sweet. Watch the grounds for any wretched children." Filch bent down to scratch Mrs. Norris on the head, then hurried off to patrol the corridors. His face still bore red nail marks around his face from his desperate attempt to blind himself from the Peeves incident. Occasionally Filch would shudder violently and turn green whenever the burning memory of Peeves floated back to him. The students all assumed he was finally losing it or some worship-worthy person slipped some Sickening Solution into his morning gruel.

Mrs. Norris prowled around the grounds, sniffing out any troublemakers and sometimes catching a bird or mouse. The sun slipped slowly over the rim of the horizon and she stopped to admire the rosy light mirrored on the midnight lake.

"How's the patrol going?" Crookshanks inquired. Nora jumped and restrained herself from swiping at him. She hissed angrily, he was always sneaking up behind her. For a chubby, ginger cat he could be quite stealthy.

"Stop doing that," Nora spat. Crookshanks pouted then lay down, legs in the air. "What are you doing?" Nora said, unsure if he was mentally stable.

"I'm watching the stars," Crookshanks explained. "Plus it feels like I could sink my claws into the sky."

"You're crazy." Nora watched him warily as he rolled over and started inching along the ground towards her. "What are you doing? Crooks? Stop it." Crookshanks ignored her and when she looked away for a second, to look back at the castle for a sign of Filch, he leapt.

Crookshanks flew through the air a landed on Nora. She screeched and sunk her claws into him and they rolled down the bank, stopping inches from the edge of the lake. "You take things too seriously. When was the last time you weren't on _patrol_? When was the last time you had _fun_?" Crookshanks asked, bemused.

Nora looked sideways at him and snorted. "I have duties. Argus depends on me to catch any kids. Kids cause all kinds of trouble. They make messes, break rules and cause Argus nothing but grief."

Crookshanks licked her swiftly and rubbed under her chin. "You need to lighten up kitten. Kids aren't that bad, give them a chance. You'd like Hermione, she know just where to pet. There is nothing more relaxing than curling up on a warm lap, getting fed scraps from the table and more cushy chairs than you could dream of." Crookshanks lay down but Nora stared at him.

"Not everyone has that kind of comfort. Sometimes a certain someone has to patrol every bleeding hour of the day and on the rare times they have a nap, it's in a damp, dank, mouldy shoebox. The reason they're in the shoebox is because the only human who's ever shown them any affection is hated by every student and as a result hates that his cat as well." Nora ranted, irritable and upset.

Crookshanks grinned. "You're beautiful when you rant on and on." Nora rolled her eyes and collapsed on the grass.

"Everyone hates me," Nora sighed and curled into a tiny ball, tucking her tail in tight. She heard a rustling and felt Crookshanks warm form curl around her. She nuzzled closer and felt the warmth and love of his embrace. Crookshanks licked her roughly on the top of her head and they stared out together over the lake in the dark.

"I don't think they could hate you if they knew you," Crookshanks mused. He stood up and Nora groaned, missing his warmth. "Come here Nora, you can take the night off. I want you to meet someone."

Nora looked steadily up at him; her large eyes reflected the first stars of the night. Silently she stood up and rubbed against him for reassurance. He held his tail high and proceeded to lead around the corridors of Hogwarts.

*

Hermione glanced up from her thick tome to check her watch. It was nearly quarter to eight and Crookshanks still wasn't home. She looked across the hearth to Ginny. Ginny looked up, bemused. "He'll show up. He always does," Ginny reassured her. Hermione looked doubtfully back at the red head. "Five sickles he's scratching at the door within the next five minutes."

Hermione laughed. "You're probably right." She turned back to her book as Ginny stared idly into the fire. Sure enough in two minutes' time there was a scratching at the portrait hole. Hermione flicked her wand and the door opened. Hermione saw Crookshanks sitting on the ledge of the hole, waiting patiently. She heard a faint mew and looked at Ginny, Crookshanks never did this.

Ginny shrugged, "probably caught a bird or something." They both stood and crossed the deserted common room to Crookshanks' bushy form. Ginny leaned up against the wall, yawning, as Hermione crouched down the stroke Crook shanks' head. He purred but made no move to enter.

"Crooks? What's wrong?" Hermione asked concerned, looking up as Ginny laughed. "What?" Hermione asked for Ginny was turning as red as her hair.

"Look outside you dunderhead," Ginny choked. Hermione peered outside only to see two lamp-like eyes shining out of the shadows at her. Hermione gasped and fell flat on her bottom. Ginny bent down and petted Mrs. Norris on the head. "I'm sorry about petrifying you in second year," Ginny said. "I didn't mean to, it was nothing personal." Mrs. Norris licked Ginny's hand roughly and she laughed. "Looks like I'm forgiven," Ginny said.

"Oh, imagine the kittens Gin! They would be adorable," Hermione cooed. Ginny looked sceptical. Mrs. Norris was skeletally thin with huge eyes, while Crookshanks was rather chubby, with a thick ginger coat and his squashed in face. Ginny thought the kittens would look rather miss-matched, but she kept that to herself.

*

Hermione yawned and Crookshanks looked up at her. She and Ginny had talked for hours on a new name for Mrs. Norris and after a few pricks from Crookshanks when names such as Fluffy, Fifi and Nicolette came up, they decided that Nora was close enough to Norris but was feminine enough.

"You did good Crooksy," Hermione said softly, "Nora's very sweet." Crookshanks and Nora had been fed scraps of chicken; Hermione always saved some dinner for Crookshanks, and then lay together for awhile on the hearth rug. Eventually Ginny was brave enough to scoop up Nora and pet her gently until she was purring. Nora relished the care and love from Ginny.

Crookshanks look lovingly at Nora then up at Hermione. It would be funny seeing what to other Gryffindors thought, but Hermione and Ginny would root for Nora. He laid his head down to rest on his paws and sighed contentedly. There was no place he'd rather be than on Hermione's comfy lap, with his fluffy lover across from him.

**A/N: I'm going to make this a short, sweet story. Hopefully it will be drawing to a close soon. If there is a large demand I may expand the story.**

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	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Nora smiled happily and nuzzled closer to the ginger mass that was Crookshanks. He licked her and scratched the wicker carrier. Hermione peered in at the two cosy cats and opened the door, laughing. Nora crawled out and stretched, closely followed by Crookshanks. Harry, Ron and Ginny all smiled at the two of them, Harry laughing at the memory of Filch's reaction to the cats.

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"Oi, get away! Shoo, get back from my kitty." Filch pouted, attempting to brush Crookshanks away from Nora. Nora hissed and swatted at him. He stared, eyes bulging. Filch stood, watching Nora turn her swollen belly and waddle away, with Crookshanks watching her caringly. He sputtered and gurgled, spittle flying.

"_Pregnant?" _Filch raged, running haphazardly after the couple. He threw himself down the corridor, slamming into Peeves. Turning a ghastly shade of ashen grey he screamed. A small crowd had gathered in the nearby corridor. Curious students were milling around like a flock of birds.

"Looksy who Peeves has met this afternoon," cackled Peeves. Filch shrieked, in a rather girly manner, and attempted to flee. Peeves watched him amusedly then started pelting ink pellets at Filch. Ink flew down the hall like a rain of darts, hitting the bulls-eye on Filch's back. Yowling, he spun around flying back towards Peeves, eyes on fire. He tackled the poltergeist with a snarl, shaking the tiny man.

"My cat is pregnant, she hates me, the bloody first years have plastered frog brains to the dungeon ceiling _and you've messed with me for the last time._" Filch was a madman, he heaved Peeves up, throwing him against the wall heavily. Peeve chuckled and sank through the wall, leaving Filch banging on the stone where he had disappeared. Two hands reached up from behind Filch, up through the ground, to swiftly pull his pants down.

The students in the hall were treated to the sight of Filch in overlarge boxers, with his two skinny, pale legs protruding from the purple patterned cotton. He let out a high shriek and ran down the corridor, tripping due to his pants, which were still pooled around his knobbly ankles. Filch grunted and hastily attempted to pull up his trousers. He was lying on his back, flailing, much like a turtle on its shell.

Nora padded up to him and roughly licked his face. He stopped struggling and lay still. She nudged him softly and he stood up wobbly, pulling his pants up with him. Filch bent down to stroke her head slowly and sighed.

"I'm going to miss you," Filch said, tearing up. He turned around and walked slowly back down the corridor. A deafening howl rent the air and Filch spun around. Nora had gone into labour, Crookshanks at her side. She was hissing and spitting, swiping at Crookshanks with her claws.

Filch dove down the hallway towards her, pushing the students away. "Get back!" Filch yelled, "she needs air." He blanched a little but pushed up his sleeves, ready to assist.

A gruelling hour later, Nora, Crookshanks and a sweaty Filch were surrounded by five little kittens. Nora lay down to let the kittens suckle from her as the tiniest one wandered away. It crawled up to Filch and sniffed him curiously. Smiling, he lifted the kitten up at set him back down next to Nora. Crookshanks nudged him in the right direction.

-0-

Nora was curled up on Ginny's lap when the mewing started. The kittens had been born only a week before summer vacation. Crookshanks stuffed his head in and calmed the three cats. There had been two kittens, a boy and girl, who resembled their mother in perfect likeness. They had chosen to stay with Argus, for he was happy for the company. Filch had decided on names and had come up with Chester and Dawn. It was certainly a step up from Mrs. Norris.

For the remaining kittens, one Hermione kept, one Ginny took and the last one was for Luna. Bryna was a thin, ginger cat that had Crookshanks' intuition and suited Hermione well. Ginny got a chubby chestnut cat and called him Spot. Harry futilely explained that Spot was what muggles usually called their dogs, to no avail. The runt of the litter was a slinky feline with Nora's protuberant eyes, matching Luna's owlish ones well. She had called the cat Leona and the kitten fondly rode around on Luna's shoulder.

Ron reached in and carefully deposited Leona onto Luna's shoulder before scooping up the two remaining kittens. Ron stroked Spot and held out Bryna to Harry. Hermione and Ginny stifled a laugh as the two boys started cooing and tickling the kittens.

Crookshanks looked over at Nora and swung his bottlebrush tail down and entwined it with hers. He purred deeply and smiled. _Life was good._ He admired his children and as Hermione petted him, he closed his eyes sleepily, a patch of sunlight warming him. _I could do this for a lifetime._

**A/N: Thanks for reading my short story, Kitty Courtship. I hope you enjoyed it! I may do an epilogue later, if there is a high demand for it and my muse agrees. **

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